She further spoke about the challenges of being a single mom from day 1, revealing she alone footed her travel and medical expenses to the United States where she went to give birth to her daughter last year. Expenses she had to bear alone and make sacrifices for such as buying a new car.
Sometimes there are some extravagances that I am supposed to indulge in but I cannot. It is just like when I had my baby, because I had to pay for my trip to the US and also foot my medical bill, I could not get the latest car that I wanted to drive then. It is one of the challenges that I faced, if I had someone to support me, like a partner, the financial burden would have been less.
Read the rest of the interview after the jump
Not being in a hurry to remarry
Sometimes it gets lonely because there is nobody to talk to. Not that there are no men but because of all the hurts and disappointment I have been through, it is not easy trusting again. Like I say to some of my friends, it is no longer as easy as it used to be for me to trust a man again. Dating is easy but being in a proper relationship is very difficult. Once beaten, twice shy. It is so hard for me to trust someone, to know if he is coming for good and he is not going to betray my trust and hurt me. It is hard that I don’t have a friend even though there are so many men out there. But then, to get that right person that makes you feel he is your friend; someone that would never hurt me and would be there for better and for worse and I can open my fears to, is difficult and I miss that.
I am also not in a hurry to have that because I am too scared to trust a man. It is a personal demon now. Marriage is not the first thing on my mind because I am not stable emotionally but I want to be in a relationship because I want to be loved. I want to have someone pray for me, talk to me and relate with me. I would love that so much but it is so difficult finding that person and if care is not taken, you can just keep going in and out of relationships without knowing the right person.”
Having no relationship with her baby’s daddy
I don’t have any relationship with the father of my child; we don’t talk. One would think that because we have a child we would be cool with each other but in reality, the case is otherwise.
(huh?)I have not seen any effort from him to reach out to me or our child. Ironically, my baby’s first word was daddy. Maybe she misses having a father figure in her life but I know she will adapt, I am strong and my baby is a strong girl.
On being a mother
There really isn’t any challenge in motherhood; the main challenge is in being a single mother. As a single mother, you are doing the job of two people on your own ranging from the financial aspect to raising a child. The challenges would be that sometimes I am not able to do some things that I would if I were not with a child as a single girl; now I have to consider my child first. Sometimes there are some extravagances that I am supposed to indulge in but I cannot. It is just like when I had my baby, because I had to pay for my trip to the US and also foot my medical bill, I could not get the latest car that I wanted to drive then. It is one of the challenges that I faced, if I had someone to support me, like a partner, the financial burden would have been less. There is no challenge in nurturing my baby because she gives me so much joy. She sees me through the day and when I think about all the things we do together, it keeps me going. It makes me want to struggle the more because I want to give her the best in life.